Chris Spinelli

“This is is not weakness, this is strength. It is ok to not be ok. Remember today is not going to fix it all, tomorrow may not but there is a day coming that it will feel better. You may feel alone but you are not alone. Asking for help isn't weakness, it is courageous!”

NAMI: Have you ever had any mental health struggles?

CS: Yes, I have struggled with mental health most of my adult life. I've had challenges with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager. Later in my life as a young adult, life events added some trauma that pushed those feelings to larger issues. As an adult I have owned my own business for over 12 years, creating a new level of stress and anxiety. At times it has overwhelmed my issues with mental health. 2018 was the worst year of my life. I was dealing with the worst anxiety and depression I had ever felt. Business ownership was extremely tough, including the need to make drastic changes to our business model. I was working through many things with my therapist to help manage my stress. I had not been able to get a quality night sleep in almost three years. I was running on fumes. I was overwhelmed by my sadness, anxiety and stress. I was surrounded by my loving family and friends but I felt utterly alone. It wasn't until one morning when my wife walked into our room, looked at me and asked me do you need me to stay home from work today? I knew right at that moment I needed more help. I went back to my Dr. We got started on some medication and continued therapy. It was almost night and day the person I became. It isn't that my stress or anxiety doesn't exist, it is how I manage it and move forward. I no longer shut down and close people out. I now have the tools I need to manage hard times. It gives me strength and happiness to know I can handle anything. I know I am not alone and have my friends and family with me. It is also a journey. I know there will be a day when I will be happy again.

NAMI: How have you healed and grown from your experiences?

CS: 2018 to 2019 was one of the most challenging years of my life. I struggled with severe depression. I sought counseling and medication to help bring me back to the center. That year's worth of struggle really gave me strength today to manage and grow from my depression. It showed me that I didn't want to feel that way and could work towards a better tomorrow. Today I share my story to help give people a chance to start their own conversation. It has made me a very strong person, by showing my vulnerabilities.

NAMI: You own Roc Brewing and are on the board of the NYSBA. What has your experience been navigating mental health in the brewing industry?

CS: Mental Health in the craft brewing industry is not well discussed. It is something that many people are very uncomfortable opening up about. I personally can't help but talk about it. I am who I am, and I am very proud of that aspect. I have found a strength and comfort opening up about my journey with mental health. It has been something that has allowed many of my friends to begin to understand, relate and open up to me about their journey or their friends and co-workers. I feel as though my timing on this topic in our industry is perfect. People are now more willing to listen and join the conversation like never before. The NYSBA is starting to bring this conversation to the forefront. It is a struggle that many people in my industry deal with daily. It is the right time for people to come forward and share their success with mental help to help others in need.

NAMI: Have you encountered stigma in your mental health journey? How do you challenge stigma in your personal and professional life?

CS: I have had some stigma. It can be challenging at times. I see it as that person's own issue with mental health not mine. I can't own their issues or issues with me talking about my mental health. I can only own my mental health. If someone doesn't want to hear what I am saying or thinks poorly of me for it, that is on them not me. I know that this isn't easy for many of us to feel. I grew up feeling lonely and an outsider. I wanted people to like me and fit in. However, I know I have people who love me and I never needed to fit in, we were always there. I am very lucky to have such a great family and friend group. It didn't happen overnight but knowing what mattered to me and why makes it easy to forget about the people who may have issues with me. We are all working through our own issues, don't waste time on people who don't want to see the best you.

NAMI: Why did you decide to share your story?

CS: I wanted to share my story because it was the right time for me. It really showed me the people, friendship and love I have around me. It has given me a strength I never knew I had. I was seeing how my story was helping others around me. It gave me strength to share and them to hear. It opened the door for a conversation. I think at the end of the day, just knowing you are not alone in your feelings is the first real step to help.

NAMI: What words would you share to encourage others in their mental health journey?

CS: I presented at the NYSBA Brewers Conference in March of 2023, I finished my presentation by saying this is not weakness, this is strength. It is ok to not be ok. Remember today is not going to fix it all, tomorrow may not but there is a day coming that it will feel better. You may feel alone but you are not alone. Asking for help isn't weakness, it is courageous!